losing my temper

Today was the first time I threw a fit at a supplier.

Dreaming of beautifying my living area, I began buying things for my room and water closet (a.k.a. banyo). So last week, as I accompanied my Mom at Ortigas Home Depot, I also shopped for things/accessories/fixtures for this great dream. I placed an order for CR shelves to be picked up the following week.

Today was the supposed pick up day. Lo and Behold it wasn't there. They said that it would be ready after 2 days more.

How come? I thought it was a 1 week lead time?

"Mam, hindi po kasali ang weekends (please don't count in the weekends)"

That really got my blood boiling as they didn't inform me that for (2) 3" x12" glass slab it would take 7 working days - not in their sales order, not even verbally. All I remember after that is me mumbling some things about them not informing me and then I asked for a refund. No cuss words or shouting, thank God.

However, despite the adage that "the customer is always right" it really felt wrong. Though they had their misgivings, I felt really bad that I let that get to me, that I got angry, that up to now I feel bad about having done that. See, I'm so affected that I'm even blogging about it now.

There's nothing left to do but to not do that anymore (or at least contain my anger and release it safely and diplomatically) and to say

I'm really sorry...

That goes out to the staff of MIRAGE @ Ortigas Home Depot.

restless hearts

I've always been a fan of pure unadulterated true love...that is, until I went on OJT (on the job training) and started to discover for myself the flip side of the world I believe I live in.

It saddens me to know that there are people who,

:: despite having a legal wive and 3 kids already, still finds spare time to maintain 3-5 girlfriends on the side. Alongside with that he's damn proud that he doesn't use any sort of protection ergo, nobody gets knocked up.

:: still phones/texts/dates (?) the girl his wife caught him in bed with (through pictures)

:: profess that he really loves his girlfriend of 10 years (!!) while still flirting/sexing up other women. He reasons that it's better to do it now than when they get married. He wants to "make the most of" his bachelorhood.

:: beds prostitutes in each town he visits - for the simple reason that he can and nobody would know.

:: plans with gf A to have a baby so that he can have a reason to break up with gf B. So when it finally happened, he just doesn't have the heart (or balls?) to break up with gf B. This depresses gf A but lo and behold, there's gf C too!! This is just too much trauma that's why she had a miscarriage.

:: claims it's not infidelity if it's just a blowjob

While there may be more restless hearts scenarios, I don't wish to elaborate further. It just makes me sick to my stomach the way they justify their action - that it's a man's life, it's just a diversion, a pastime of sorts. And the men I have interviewed gamely answered that not even STDs, AIDS, or having their wife catch them in the act will make them stop this promiscuity. The only thing that will "probably" deter them from this lifestyle is if their children knew about it; apparently they don't want to be hated as the cheating Dad. But will they really stop?

I really hope that this would soon change. Even with the glaring evidence and confessions, please don't cheat like dogs who lick their balls - just because they can..

boracay on my mind..

Most people may find it strange but believe it or not, I haven't actually been to Boracay - ever! That is why I'm both happy and excited that this summer, I finally get to go there!! The beach, the crowd, the sunset, the shakes..Whee!!!


Fortunately, the trip is free and I only have to bring pocket money for pasalubong, mango shakes, snorkeling, night outs, etc. Unfortunately, the schedule won't coincide with the block bora (college block outing/get-together which will be on April 17-21). It's a tad bit earlier at March 14-16, which means that by Palm Sunday I'll still be there with my officemates - all 80 of us, all Philippine offices at that. With a relatively old population (only a few of us pull the average down to 20's), I just hope I'll be pleasantly surprised with what's going to happen there. Hopefully the summer committee could cook up games, awardings, triathlons (hehe), bonfires, to keep everyone in the mood despite the pending reorg.

Ah, the planner in me relishes all that is to be planned for this "occasion"...in that all-important file:

MONEY AND TIME BUDGET

1. Wardrobe

This one is really tough. For only 3 days and 2 nights to be spent in that island, I know that what I currently have is more than enough. Presently I have 3 swimsuits, 5 cover-ups, 3 slippers, 2 shades - but my vanity is telling me that I should buy something, at least one thing for this summer even though I know that I'm gonna be using them max 3x this year!

First of course, is a new suit. Definitely a non-negotiable each year. It's really hard to decide which one to get but guided by my budget, I've decided to get either of these designs by Soak Swimwear..although I'm partial to the pink/brown one since I don't have that style yet.

...and I'll just buy an additional one in bora ---->that's my souvenir, silly! (hehehe)..

Next is the shades..yes I love my eyes so much (everyone should too because it is a rare commodity these days!) that's why I was contemplating on getting the Ray-Ban shades I've been eyeing since November of last year, or not.. It looked so good that I could've sworn not to buy any shades for this lifetime. That's a joke of course but really, you'd feel like a beach goddess wearing it. I could've sworn too that I would buy it the next day as in A.S.A.P. but it would set me back 7 grand, an amount I could have better use for so it only took me overnight to convince myself to use my 4-yr old Harley D shades, or borrow my dad's Ray-Ban and just save up for the one I like and buy it late this year (yipeee!!). Besides, I could always find a worthy deadringer for that shades..

For the slippers, it is almost always automatic Havaianas for most of the beach-lovin' Filipinos. I have a blue pair and would love to have a white one (I dunno, guess it would look great on any suit I have....hehe) but for now I'm settling for my trusty blue Joy pair and will just get a Banana Peel white pair - that's only PHP 100.00 or less! Still crossing my fingers here, haven't completely convinced myself yet..teehee!!

And lastly for the cover-ups, hmmmm...I totally have no idea. Though I think this will be a must for this trip because I'm with my officemates. God knows who the D.O.M.s (Dirty Old Men) are in that crowd, yuck! Plus bf is asking me to wear tadaaaah - t-shirt and shorts!! - wow...that's all I can say with his request. Baby, this is will be our compromise, okay? I think I'll just bring my beach shorts, "surf" shorts, beach dresses, and etc. Will get the rest of my stuff there...


2. Activities

Since I haven't been there, I'm just relying on my friends' suggestions on what to do there. Lemme see, aside from office activities, I want to:

- get a henna/glitter tattoo
- bask in the sun
- watch the sunsets
- forget my problems and get drunk..just kidding!!
- go snorkeling
- write my name on the sand
- go skim boarding
- drink mango shakes all day
- food trip (moderately) don't want to get bloated or have digestive problems there
- make the beach my ramp..harhar..
- sleep
- shop
- take pictures
- meet new people (wink!)
- bond with friends
- spa
- document my officemates' scandals..(hooting!)
- meet my friends who are in bora (soo lucky people!)

^is that all that people do in bora?

-->course not..I'm saving some of the good stuff for when special people are with me...such as parasailing, scuba diving, diving with the funny helmet, trekking, skinny dipping (ooops..joke!)...
3. Body

I'm not a hag so there's no reason for me to look like one. Besides, with all that I think I'm going to spend all in the name of vanity, spending time to beautify, tone, sculpt my body should be top priority! Those new suits will be of no use for me if I will not be confident with my body. So my gameplan is...

...from now (Feb 17) until the day before BORA day...

:: absolutely no softdrinks (shucks, this is gonna be hard!!)
:: no saba con hielo, leche flan, halo halo dessert after lunch
:: sleep by 10-11 PM
:: run on the treadmill at least 20 minutes per day (huray to this, this is a check for today!)
:: do boxing once a week
:: do strength/weights training every other day for arms, legs, buns, thighs
:: do abs exercises on the stability ball every other day
:: run on the bike to cool down

there, I've officially turned into Jane Fonda! hahahaha...of course I wouldn't discount the fact that there'll be days I'll be tired (ows?) or unmotivated and that's what the Hip Hop Abs DVD is for!

I've got less than a month to go and I'll be keeping my eyes focused on my target.

4. Toiletries / Skin Essentials

I don't want to spend too much on this so I've trimmed down my list to the following:

:: Sunblock for my face - has to be VMV Armada
yes guys, girls have different sunblocks for the body and face
:: Sun protection for my hair
:: Hot Oil - I have this already..so that I can pamper my hair in the evening despite the sun-filled days

Ain't that a short list? hehe..Though short as it is, I hope I could finally be a 'light packer'. Right now it's a plentiful list of things I'll be brining for this trip and with a miracle, hopefully I can pack them all in my backpack.

Fun, flirty, sexy, happy, sunny Boracay......here I come!!!! : )

and as they say, "What happens in Bora, stays in Bora! (wink, wink!)"

To my valentine

I'm going to share now what I've written 2 years back. It's basically a list of everything about Andrew - things I absolutely adore or hate about him but nonetheless are things that make him who he is - the person that I love.

This was written during a break up period when I was reassessing our relationship, how well we knew each other, how well we loved each other. And between sobs, I decided that the best way to let him know how much I appreciate him, the strengths and nuances of his persona, was to read to him this list; such a brave thing to do for a girl (you know, having to fight your tears and breaking voice and all that)

So to my baby, Happy Valentine's Day! Hopefully as the years go by, we'll get to know each other more and I'll be able to list down a hundred more!


1. Always fixes things for me
2. Looks so cute with his eyes closed while kissing me (mine are open..sometimes!)
3. Very sexy firm butt
4. Does not wear his seatbelt..bad!
5. Tighty whities..
6. Secretly jealous of stuffed toys
7. Has a carebears stuffed toy (care of me)
8. Forgot my 2005 birthday (oversleeping)
9. But quickly made up for it the next day
10. Wants to be an architect..and is gonna be a great one!
11. Formerly addicted to computer games
12. Gave me a real hard time reconciling with him
13. But he asked me back in the end
14. Sings I’ll be, Harana and Happy Birthday for me
15. Wants to buy men’s mags; only, I won’t let him
16. Is always my movie buddy
17. Is afraid of the future?
18. But loves kids
19. Conservative kuno
20. Detests mushrooms, papaya and other healthy foods
21. Can’t sleep without me giving him a kiss and saying ‘I Love You’
22. Loves massages
23. Is very ticklish
24. Has strong legs and big calves
25. Is afraid of the dermatologist
26. Rarely smiles in pictures
27. Always finds time to visit me (1x a week = 4x a month = 52x a year, approximately)
28. Does not get drunk
29. Borrows toiletries from me when on a trip
30. Loves badminton so much
31. Allows me all exceptions in his room…i can eat, sing, talk a lot
32. Is learning how to swim
33. Loves pinching my butt (ewan ko ba)
34. Had his nose hit by a softball
35. And bit by a dog a year later
36. Leaves all the ‘date’ planning to me
37. Gives romantic but practical gifts
38. Is so huggable (lika nga rito!)
39. Jokes around a lot
40. Is so malambing all the time
41. Doesn’t like giving flowers (but he still does)
42. Gave me a green heart-shaped tikoy on a valentine’s
43. Was forced (by me) to wear a black hi-cut trunks in Ace Water Spa
44. Doesn’t smoke (he decided to quit on the very first stick he tried)
45. Is very helpful to everyone
46. Loves cheese-flavored popcorn, fries and nuggets
47. Not a fan of softdrinks
48. My Divisoria buddy (guard..hehe)
49. Is such a gentleman
50. Goes to a PHP 30.00 barbero
51. Downloads _orn (corn?)
52. Does not want to ride the cruise ship
53. Has the same room color as mine (green!)
54. Has a growing beer belly
55. Was a blue baby
56. Is torpe! Hehe..
57. Was crushing on me during COMP1BU (feeling!)
58. Painfully shy
59. Has improved his dancing skills (even taught me the jive)
60. Loves to sleep
61. Is a good son, but a strict kuya
62. Takes care of me when I’m sick
63. Happily obliges to help me shop for swimsuits/lingerie
64. Very spontaneous
65. Always automatically places my head on his shoulders when I’m sleepy
66. Brings me home even if it’s late
67. Is my bestest friend
68. Loves to tickle me and make me laugh
69. Listens to my daydreaming
70. Is very good in math
71. Waits for me patiently, while I dress up
72. Loves very loooong walks
73. Someone very special to me
74. Willing to wait (y’all know what this means)
75. Just automatically finds my hand when walking…
76. Wrote me a totally unexpected monthsary letter
77. Almost (?) cried with my 1st Anniversary gift – a powerpoint presentation of us
78. Very honest with me
79. Wants me to change for the better
80. But accepts me for what/who I am
81. Lets me have the remote
82. Help me with homeworks/projects/brainteasers
83. Cute, plump, kissable lips
84. Respects me
85. Wants me to hug him while driving
86. Made my college life so wonderful
87. And up until now…

i feel good nanananananana....

I'm probably at my heaviest now at 105 lbs but I feel great nonetheless. No exercise (bad), lotsa lotsa food, and sweets at that! I used to weigh anywhere between 95-100 lbs which made me kinda underweight. Back then I used to celebrate every pound added to my weight only to realize that I just lose it with the next bowel movement.

One would say that I'm the quintessential slim/petite girl who keeps on eating but never gets fat. Older people/girls in the office would really go green with envy since despite their efforts in trimming down, they just keep piling up the pounds. Whereas I...ah, nevermind! They just try to console themselves that I'll get fat too once I get married, or have a baby..etc. The typical crab mentality...

While I don't have a drop dead gorgeous body (just my face..hahahaha..), I honestly feel great about myself. You want flaws? Let's say my tummy is bigger now and my arms are not as toned as they used to be but I believe that those are just minor stuff to worry about. Why? Because I believe that in 3-4 weeks I can get them to their glorious state. Kidding aside, (but I'm serious) besides our body type, I think that a lot also depends with how we perceive ourselves. Sexy or not, it is important and a must for us to have a positive self-image. In the simplest sense it's simply loving yourself enough to accept the way you are and loving yourself enough to act on the change that needs to be done. In the real world, this means that I love my body enough not to starve it just to keep a "sexy, body-beautiful, beach babe" image but I also love it enough not to overdo eating, or have an unhealthy diet and lifestyle just to give in to my cravings/gluttony/food binging moments.

In the end, balance is still key.

But you must know though, I really had REAL toned abs last summer! Looking forward to a healthy, beautiful, sexy body not just in time for beach season but for a year on year satisfaction!

P.S. I love you

Wow..I can't wait to watch this film! It's been almost a month since I've seen the poster in newspapers but I didn't really pay any attention to it because I thought that it would just be another-run-of-the-mill-tear-jerker-with-an-oh-so-predictable-plot-and-storyline; something that could wait until it's aired on hbo.

Well I haven't seen it yet but I'm guessing my initial presumption is wrong. I've seen the trailer and I was throroughly amused by the movie, the novelty of it all. It could still probably induce tears but I believe it's more of a laugh actually. Something surprising for a movie that involves a dead person.

I'm not going to go into full details now so as not to ruin your interest in case you want to watch it also, besides..I'll only be able to watch it next Saturday!!

much a do about cleanin'

With so many things going on for me right now and still so very many things to do, I think I just have to stop and clean my room while my Martha Stewart attack is kicking in. I'm not really a neat-freak and not even my Mom's nagging could up my cleaning frequency. Aside from the simple throw the trash, pick up the dirt, bring down the glasses, change the sheets and etc, I rarely find time to actually deliberately clean my room!



Don't get me wrong though, there are probably 5 events in a year when I actually turn my room upside down and won't stop till it's spic and span:

1. New Year of course
2. Chinese New Year - a great second chance when I didn't make use of No. 1
3. A rather disturbing night when something just prods me to get the vacuum and zap away and really this happens at night
4. When I buy something new - which just has to have a really neat place to be put in
5. And on some occasions when my Mom REALLY nags me enough - otherwise I just put up a "fight" trying to protect the status quo

Mom tells me that a person's room is a reflection of how the room owner thinks. That could probably be true since (and I'm not claiming to be a very deep thinker here by the way) I find myself always lost in my many thoughts (think this: look at picture below).



Besides, I think I'm somewhat of a sentimental person and it's hard for me to just throw things away - yes, even my high school test papers are still filed in my room. Despite the "mess" she claims it is, everything is accounted for and I sure know which crevice to find it.

I think I'm really good at frustrating her in this regard because to her "girls' rooms should be clean all the time". And boy does she get a high everytime my brother's room is immaculately clean (won't compare it to mine though). Note to mom: sorry mom i'm wired this way..i'm trying though and one day you'll just be surprised! : )

I'll admit that it is such an effort on my part whenever I clean my room. An effort to start and an even larger effort to see it through. Aside from getting tired, I think it also frustrates me to know that at the end of a cleaning session, there would still be stuff lying around .. well not because I forgot about them but because there's no place to store them in yet!

My mom would really laugh if she reads this but believe it or not I have a grand plan for my room..my furniture/things have to be special or I won't have any (I'll leave my things first in the floor instead of buying substandard furniture lacking in taste and beauty). Things I'm saving up for would be the ff:

1. A decent bookcase/shelf that would really protect my books, preferably with a smoked glass top where I can place my milk at night.
2. Curtains - I've been searching and searching but to no avail. Sigh....but not to worry as I have the design in mind..guess I just have to customize it to my own liking
3. Pillowcases and beddings old world - in pure white, eyelet/lace trimmings complete with my monogram in red
4. More shelves for my closet
5. Feng Shui paintings for my walls
6. A table against the wall along the path to my comfort room..sorry it's not the best description but rest assured i know how it would look like and what it's for
7. lot's more!

Who wouldn't want a clean room? It's just that if my room is to be cleaned and tidied up, it has to be done by me and nobody else because it's my room in the first place and I think I can do a better job than anyone at it. And on the day I succeed (think April - May of this year), I'll be the one having the last laugh while they envy my sanctuary...